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On a Clerihew Day, You Can See Forever (All-Star Game Edition)

by James Finn Garner

David Wright
Was expecting a big night
On his home field
With the rest of the Mets concealed.

Robinson Cano
Not too long ago
Was the picture of Yankee youth.
Now even he is long in the tooth.

Manny Machado,
If he were a flavor of gelado,
Would be, I’d bet,
Orioles black-and-orange sherbet.

Carlos Beltran
On the days the smelt ran
Would’ve rather been at the lake fishing
Than at the plate swishing.

Chris Sale
Is young, hearty and hale.
It’s the White Sox’s bats
That cripple his stats.

 

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Four Ways of Looking at an All-Star

(With apologies to Wallace Stevens)

By Stuart Shea

Would the Cubs be good
Without Travis Wood?
(What the hell are you talking about?
They’re still 14 games out.)

J.J. Hardy
Is often tardy,
Which you can plainly see
From his OBP of .293.

Perhaps it is silly
To cite Jason Grilli
As a reason for the Bucs’ success.
But without him, it’d be a mess.

The Pods will have a scare-a
If Everth Cabrera
Is suspended as rumored–
Bud will be Black-humored.

 

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Clerihews for the All-Star Game

by James Finn Garner

Joe Mauer
Has no need to feel dour.
He’ll get a trip to the Big Apple for frees
Without having to play the Yankees.

Jason Castro
Is the lone Astro.
He brings Bigfoot to mind
As the sole representative of his kind.

Bartolo Colon
Doesn’t climb the mound alone.
He relies on his teammates, and God,
And Big Pharma supporting his ancient bod.

Freddie Freeman
Must be some kind of he-man.
He’ll play in New York instead of Puig.
Too bad that now, I don’t give a fuig.

 

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Hits and Runs

by Carl Sandburg

I REMEMBER the Chillicothe ball players grappling the Rock Island ball players in a sixteen-inning game ended by darkness.
And the shoulders of the Chillicothe players were a red smoke against the sundown and the shoulders of the Rock Island players were a yellow smoke against the sundown.
And the umpire’s voice was hoarse calling balls and strikes and outs and the umpire’s throat fought in the dust for a song.