Is It Time for Dodger Baseball?

by Michael X. Ferraro

Twenty-five years is so long in L.A.
A city where trends are born ev’ry day.
Champagne last flowed here when Gibby burned Eck.
Since then, Dodger fans have been glum as heck
as seasons crawled by with no matching thrill.
Yet now, hopes are high the Boys in Blue will
make that Series drought a thing of the past,
with what all agree is some marquee cast.

Puig leaps off the screen with full-throttle play.
Clayton’s deflatin’ egos, E.R.A.
At shortstop he’s tops—Hurray Hanley-wood.
Gonzalez a rock, the A-Train that could.
Greinke’s grand on the mound, great at the plate;
Uribe, once a bust, now pulls his weight!
Ethier’s hobbled, and Kemp’s on the shelf,
while Wilson’s bounced back to his old bearded self.

Of course, there are some who don’t even care
about ball clubs’ fates and civic despair.
But those cold-hearted types don’t understand
the joys of the finest game in the land.
A whole quarter century’s passed us by
since Captain Kirk punched that hole in the sky.
Pardon us, Cubs fans, but it’s been too long
since Chavez Ravine was joyous with song.

 

Michael X. Ferraro is the author of Tased & Amused: A Poetic Recap of the 2010 MLB Season, which recounts such harrowing fan tales as an on-field tasering and a case of intentional regurgitation.

Wacha Wacha Wacha

By Stuart Shea

The Cardinals’ pitcher is Wacha,
Wacha Wacha Wacha–
And he ain’t only talk-a,
Talka talka talka.
Ain’t gonna commit no balk-a,
Balka balka balka,
Ain’t gonna pull no rock-a,
Rocka rocka rocka.

 

A Scherzer Thing

by Millie Bovich

Max Scherzer with Tigers behind ‘im
Throws pitches where hitters can’t find ’em
Twenty-one wins to post
Making most batters toast
We’re delighted that management signed ‘im!

 

From a Central Division Fan Who Hadn’t Been Paying Much Attention

by James Finn Garner

What th’ — BOSTON won the East?
Soaring up to best from least?
The experts’ toe tags read “Deceased”
But New York’s competitiveness ceased,
Baltimore’s upward path was greased.
Bet big on the Jays? You’re fleeced.
Of seafood the Carmines made a feast,
Muzzling that Tampa beast.
My faith is shaken — oh, call a priest!
I can’t believe they won the East!