By Marion Light
October’s the month for
strikes and pitches
and bats and bags
and also witches.
There is No Joy in Bro-hio
by James Finn Garner
There is no joy in Bro-hio
As Tribe and Reds are shown the door.
Both teams vying for the Wild Card
But reality hit ’em good and hard.
The Rays, always, a resourceful crew,
And Pittsburgh, you must admit, is due.
An I-71 Series is just a dream
If Dusty Baker helms your team.
With Nick Swisher on the roster,
October glory is hard to foster.
Next March it all begins anew
When balls start smacking into Chin-Soo Choo.
Unslaked Lime
by Todd Herges
Within the ninety degree arc
between the white perpendicular rays
the nine men minus the backstop-outside-the-rays
poise tense relax
poise tense relax
waiting for that nine-inch circumferential sphere,
that five-ounce avoirdupois sphere;
waiting to see if that batter runner
can travel ninety feet from box to bag
before the ball traverses the field from a spot just above
maybe a little in front
of that five-sided whitened slab to a player
and then to another player stretched out –
still within the ninety degrees, inside that right-side unslaked ray –
holding his glove gently, toeing his base heavily, sticking his catch firmly;
waiting for that twenty-seventh raised fist
that eighty-first home park twenty-seventh raised fist,
to learn if there will be another game, or maybe three,
and hopefully more than that.
If you would like to review the official MLB rules for the playing field, and specifically the requirement for unslaked lime, please click here.
Losstown Classic: Flubs Vs. Sux
by Hilary Barta
What a year, there’s a lot to forget
Wipe it clear, like you’d blot a bad debt
No more seasons of pain
No reprise! No refrain!
Drink your beer — down a shot, better yet.
Hilary Barta, famed comic illustrator (The Simpsons, SpongeBob), runs the pop culture limerick site LimerWrecks, to which you should direct your browser now.