by Stuart Shea
What the heck rhymes with Kyle Schwarber?
Well, ’60s jazzer Alan Lorber,
And that dancing Greek named Zorber,
And folk singer Steve Forber(t),
And . . .
And . . .
I’m at the bottom of the pail,
And I don’t want him to fail . . .
But his name is odd, I fear,
So he may not have many poems here.
Two for Jim Schwarber
The Village Elliott: 7/15
I
Grizzled vets oft’ teach rookies this fact:
“Those who helped you get here, pay them back”;
So young Cub, Jim Schwarber,
Told Mom he’d absorb her
Debts when he signs his next big contract.
II
While getting his haircut, the barber
Asked Schwarber, “Your name rhyme with ‘arbor’?”:
Jim said, “Spelled like it does,
But it’s ‘or-ber’ because,
They misspelled ‘Schwarber’ at the harbor.”