by Jim Siergey
Originally published in The Chicago Baseball Magazine.
Originally published in The Chicago Baseball Magazine.
Originally published in The Chicago Baseball Magazine.
A 29-year-old rook
Claimed off waiver’s wire
Has been tearing up pitchers
Setting Wrigley afire.
With the old-time name Frank
That sounds under-powered
He’s been putting up numbers
Like Franks Robinson and Howard.
Be it a game-winning slam
That set fans a-tingle
Or a headfirst slide into first
With a bizarre walk-off single.
He’s a real life Crash Davis
The longshot who paid
Taking out some of the sting
From Hoyer’s heartbreaking trades.
And though this year’s Cubs team
Will not win a ring
You can count on Schwindel
And his mighty sweet schwing!
I know three reasons Wrigleyville’s crying
And why for season tix no one’s applying
Character sells, sure, but who’s buying?
.   Rizzo and Baez and Bryant
Losing El Mago, our greatest since Whizzo,
Has driven some fans on the borderline schizo,
Hiding their heartache by cranking up Lizzo
.   Baez and Bryant and Rizzo
Watching a hoped-for dynasty die is
Bringing a tear to each diehard’s eye, as
The White Sox look to dominate Chi —
.   Bryant and Rizzo and Baez
Kyle Schwarber is not a Gold Glover
By candy machines he will hover
But when he connects
The baseball he wrecks
With power to knock off the cover.