Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
The horror! Two ligaments torn
Once more, all of Wrigley’s forlorn
Of such mishaps one wearies–
But what’s this? In the Series
Kyle Schwarber is friggin’ reborn!
Hilary Barta is a funny book artist (SpongeBob and Simpsons comics), as well as the force behind the noir and horror film site LimerWrecks.
Cavs crowned Cleveland’s schneid with Le Bron,
First crown since ’64 Browns won.
Tribes’ now poised to break
Their own “Schneid by the Lake”
After winning AL gonfalon.
Just weeks before Dewey beat Harry,
Tribe beat Braves, won flag, next year bury.
For nigh 70 years
Seasons end with more tears;
If Tribe wins, tears of joy will make merry.
As the 112th World Series draws near
Which players
Will join the assemblage
Of past October heroes
As the Cubs try to end
A 108-year drought
Will Bryant, Baez, Rizzo or
Any of several pitchers
Lead the way
Can Kluber, Lindor, or Miller
Lead the Indians
To a series win
Certainly
Surprises await
Heroes yet to emerge
Only in October
To first base a pitcher can’t throw?
A sure sign that runners will go
When walks mean a double
You’re talkin’ ’bout trouble
Fans at home slap their heads and scream “D’oh!”
For Cleveland, the strike zone expanded
For Cubbies, all runners left stranded
It’s not luck, we’re not cursed
But we sucked in the first
And head to Game Two empty-handed.