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Mike “King” Kelly

by James Finn Garner

King Kelly was a man among men
You could tell he was in the pink when,
Charging the base like a crook,
He’d slide with foot hooked–
Immortalized in song, it was then.

 

On this St. Paddy’s Day, we salute King Kelly (1857-94), the son of Irish immigrants who played with the Chicago White Stockings (NL) and the Boston Beaneaters. Among the innovations credited to Kelly are the hit-and-run, catchers backing up first basemen, and the hook slide, which was immortalized in the song “Slide, Kelly, Slide!” 

 

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Bob Dylan’s 2017 Forecast: “If Not For Trout”

by James Finn Garner

If not for Trout
The Angels would be a shame
Wouldn’t win a single game
The bottom would drop out
If not for Trout

If not for Trout
Big A would be humdrum
Fans might even watch the Bums
Talk about a drought
If not for Trout

If not for Trout, Pujols would quit
Scioscia would get the heave
Escobar would be hitting the bricks
They’d be lost if not for Steve

If not for Trout
They would be Triple A
Simmons would beg for a trade
A stinking mess throughout
If not for Trout

 

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Bob Dylan’s 2017 Forecast: “Absolutely Sent Lawrie”

by Jim Siergey

Well, your baseball gait, you know you just ain’t jumpin’
Sometimes it gets too hard, you see
I’m just sittin’ here, waiting to see sum’pin
There’s just no progress in your injury
So we’re waiving you tonight, Brett Lawrie

Well, I waited for you with Adam Eaton
Yes, I waited for you with Adam Laroche
Well, I waited for you as we got beaten
When I thought Ventura would learn to coach
So we’re waiving you tonight, Brett Lawrie

Well, anybody can hurt his knee, obviously
Then again, not many hang on this long, fortunately

Some prospects are ripe way down in Charlotte
Some of them may boost White Sox esprit
It was tough trading Sale, but we’ll allow it
If Moncada is as good as he seems to be
So we’re waiving you tonight, Brett Lawrie

 

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Bob Dylan’s 2017 Forecast: “Sale, Baby, Sale”

by James Finn Garner

Sale, baby, Sale
Flail at the heat he’s gonna bring
Sale, baby, Sale
Pitch the Sox to a Series ring

Don’t care that Fenway’s a hitters’ park
Dave Dombrowski’s set to make his mark
Lots of lefties pitching for this team
Lots of taters hit into the green

Sale, baby, Sale
Flail at the heat he’s gonna bring
Sale, baby, Sale
Pitch the Sox to a Series ring

With Benintendi, Bogaerts, Mookie Betts,
Faithful bean-eaters might forget
That choke in Cleveland in the first round
They’ll still come out–big college town

Sale, baby, Sale
Flail at the heat he’s gonna bring
Sale, baby, Sale
Pitch the Sox to a Series ring

 

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A Wealth of Talent

by Stephen Jones

Baseball’s going through a tidal surge.
It’s not some drug-related purge
Or hair-split tweaks speeding up the game
Or (gasp) Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame.

It’s a force of nature
On the field of dreams:
Youth’s replaced stature
On many a team.