by Doug K.
Starting Pitching
It seemed at the dawn of the year
That our starters were something to fear.
Cole, Rodon, Nestor, Sevi —
Our staff was ace-heavy.
Now we wish we had back JP Sears.
Gerrit Cole
Gerrit Cole is the team’s only ace.
Twenty wins? He is close to the pace.
But when he gets a bad call,
The next pitch clears the wall.
You can tell by the look on his face.
Carlos Rodon
The deal for Rodon really sucks.
Often injured, he still got the bucks.
It made him quite rich.
Maybe one day he’ll pitch.
Our front office is run by a schmuck.
Nestor Cortez
Like Tiant and Bartolo Colon,
No one knew what pitch Nestor was thow’n.
Hitters no longer have doubt.
Did they figure him out?
Or was his greatness overblown?
Luis Severino
When not hurt, Luis can pitch great.
But often, it’s not worth the wait.
Something’s always off.
What’s next? Whooping cough?
At what point do we just cut bait?
German and Schmidt
They’re both number fives, this is true.
Forced to pitch like they were one or two.
Sure, we got a perfecto . . .
Also, lots of dreckto.
So, let’s see what Brito can do.
Extra Limerick: Frankie Montas!
For Frankie we gave up a ton
To land our second number one.
But our hopes are gone, oh!
He’s another Pavano
Who throws off flat ground just for fun.
These lims first appeared on the indispensable Yankee blog, It is High, It is Far, It is … caught.