It Ain’t Worth It

by Casey Stengel

The trouble is not
that players have sex
the night before a game.

It’s that they stay out all night
looking for it.

You gotta learn that
if you don’t get it by midnight,
chances are you ain’t gonna get it,
and if you do,
it ain’t worth it.

Many thanks to Jim Koenigsberger (@JimFromBaseball) for this and so many other gems from history.

Illustration: Munsingwear ladies underwear advertisement, 1940.

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