Salvador Perez–
No matter what anyone says–
Denies ever sharing a tanning booth
With Dr. Ruth.
Jose Altuve
Is fond of the movies,
Especially those that feature
Brain-eating creatures.
Mike Trout
Sulks and pouts.
As the sole Angel, he doesn’t get very far
With his funny imitation of Yunel Escobar.
Ben Zobrist
Has always been so pissed
At being last alphabetically
That he takes his revenge athletically.