Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
by James Finn Garner
The White Sox and the Cubbies
Determined to have a battle.
Then Ozzie said that Wrigley Field
Wasn’t fit for cattle.
“It makes me puke,” he told the press,
Though he meant no disrespect.
His mouth is like a leaky faucet,
So what could you expect?
The Chicago skippers aren’t like the twins
From Lewis Carroll’s book of yore.
Ozzie yips like a hyper spaniel
While Lou just shrugs and snores.
Posted 6/16/2009
By James Finn Garner
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Now that cameras can detect and correct
Our errors and human frailty,
I call for a replay of
Fidrych talking to the ball,
Reggie hitting in October,
Bob Gibson staring,
Koufax stretching,
Veeck laughing,
DiMaggio’s war years,
And Hank Greenberg’s,
And 1994, which could have saved the Expos,
And spared us the Nationals,
And Cap Anson shutting his damned mouth
And Buck O’Neil playing for the Cubs,
Satchel Paige for the A’s,
And Cool Papa Bell for the Cardinals.
.
Posted 5/14/09
by Ryan Gallagher
The Pale Hose play in a town second-fiddle
To a team content to finish in the middle.
World Titles have escaped them
Though their yard, what a gem!
Fans love the Cubs, an inexplicable riddle!
.
Posted 5/12/09
by Larry Epke
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White Sox Spring Poser:
Will acquiring Wilson bring about
The Betemit of the team?
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Posted 4/16/09
By Stuart Shea
WHITE SOX
From dawn to midnight
Glistening sweat beads cover
Guillen’s press spokesmen.
TWINS
Sweet April moonlight
Means “farewell” if the Twins are
Without Joe Mauer.
INDIANS
Each cool autumn
Indians fans get just the
Thin end of the Wedge.
ROYALS
Gold Kansas wheatfields
Yield more each season than
Green fields at Kauffmann.
TIGERS
A solar eclipse
Can’t match the disappearance
Of Dontrelle’s control.
Posted 4/1/09