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Old-School Reps

by James Finn Garner

I don’t think the new analytics
Would’ve helped Norm Cash worth a lick
For Killebrew, Mantle,
F. Robby and Randle,
A beer and a cig did the trick.

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This Year’s Departures

by James Finn Garner

The season is done, the jocks are stored
Only two teams are left on the board
Let’s pause now, while for Friday we wait,
And salute the retirements of a few greats.

Pujols hit his 700th for the Cards
And now will have time to work on his yard.

Bosox and Cubs champ Jon Lester
Now is an official hammock tester.

Music lover Kurt Suzuki
Can learn the banjo or bouzouki

After the majors, Ádrian González played on
But after this year, A-Gon done gone.

Melky Cabrera, the man and the myth,
Will star in community theater: “The Melkman Cometh.”

And if anyone’s  looking for J.A. Happ,
He’s out on the patio, taking a nap.

 

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Impact

by Michael Ceraolo

Herb Score

No tragedy here,
just one of those unfortunate incidents
that are sometimes part of the game:
Gil’s line drive didn’t end my career,
though I was out for the rest of the season;
it was arm trouble that did me in
And if I hadn’t been a player
I never would have become a broadcaster
I have to thank Bob Neal,
my first broadcast partner;
he never made me look bad
while I was learning on the job,
and I had a steep learning curve

Gil McDougald

I’m glad Herb doesn’t blame me;
I couldn’t have continued if he did,
or if that had ended his career
I think it did affect me;
I wasn’t as good a hitter afterward
A few years later I heard rumors
the Yankees were going to leave me unprotected
in the upcoming expansion draft,
so I said I would retire
rather than go to another teams
Yankee management feared this was a threat
to their absolute control and said so publicly
I think they were greatly surprised
when I stayed retired