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Nap Lajoie

by Michael Ceraolo

I once was quoted as saying
no one gives you anything in baseball,
but that isn’t correct
Morgan Murphy gave me and other Phillies many hits
when he stole signs from the stands
and relayed them to a coacher through a buzzer system,
and the coacher then relayed them to us
And the St. Louis Browns gave me half-a-dozen bunt hits
during a doubleheader to end the 1901 season,
enabling me to win the batting title and a car
I took those gifts without apology,
though I often wished that the Browns
would have given us the ’08 pennant instead

 

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What Passes for Excitement

by James Finn Garner

They’re getting pumped in Motown
For the torrid Wild Card race!
If they rack up division wins,
They’ll surge up to second place

Enough to struggle in October
By God’s and Minnesota’s grace,
And clear the stench of summer
Unless they fall on their whiskered face.

 

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White Sox Strategic Planning

by GM Chris Getz

If you would have told me
we were going to end up
flirting with the record,

I would have been
a little surprised.

Now if you would have told me
prior to the year
that we would have ended up
with over 100 losses,

105,

110,

I wouldn’t have been
as surprised.

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Big Klu

by James Finn Garner

When Leo the Lip tried to name
The five strongest bats in the game
He omitted Ted Klu
Hinted he lived in the zoo
Human being? He’s not quite the same.

When Hall of Fame manager Leo Durocher was once asked by a writer to name five of the strongest players in baseball, he complied. However, when the writer pointed out that he’d left Ted Kluszewski off the list, Durocher huffed and said, “Kluszewski? I’m talking about human beings!” Happy 100th birthday, Big Klu!

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Hello, Goodbye

by James Finn Garner

Guardian Anthony Gose
Comes and goes
Goes and comes
Up and down I-71

Up to Cleveland
Down to Columbus
Too bad to keep
Too good to dump

Four times in a month
He’s been DFA’d,
Eerily close to Buddy Holly:
“Don’t Fade Away.”