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This Year’s Departures

by James Finn Garner

The season is done, the jocks are stored
Only two teams are left on the board
Let’s pause now, while for Friday we wait,
And salute the retirements of a few greats.

Pujols hit his 700th for the Cards
And now will have time to work on his yard.

Bosox and Cubs champ Jon Lester
Now is an official hammock tester.

Music lover Kurt Suzuki
Can learn the banjo or bouzouki

After the majors, Ádrian González played on
But after this year, A-Gon done gone.

Melky Cabrera, the man and the myth,
Will star in community theater: “The Melkman Cometh.”

And if anyone’s  looking for J.A. Happ,
He’s out on the patio, taking a nap.

 

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Ossie Vitt

by Michael Ceraolo

I understand there’s a brain injury
that even today can only be detected
after death in an autopsy
I was in collisions at the plate,
and a Walter Johnson curveball beaned me
and knocked me out for several minutes;
if it had been a fastball I would have been killed
(I’m sure some of the Indians wish I had been)
Was it a brain injury, or the times,
that shaped my management style?
At this late date we’ll never know

Ken Keltner

The worst mistake I ever made
was to file for unemployment in the offseason,
something that seemed like a good idea at the time
but was much less so once we sobered up,
and I deserved all the abuse I took for it
What was not a mistake was being one of the players
who went to the owner asking for Vitt to be fired
We didn’t deserve his abuse,
and we didn’t deserve the abuse
from fans and sportswriters

Mel Harder

Being the longest-tenured Indian,
I was the leader of the group
that went to Mr. Bradley and asked his to fire Vitt
We were called Crybabies then and for years afterward,
but I’ll always believe we were right:
Vitt didn’t know how to treat people
He was never hired again
as manager of a major-league team

 

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AL Cannibalism de Facto?

by Stephen Jones

Let’s just say
The season ended today
And the Yankees won the division…
That’s a no-brainer, a win-loss given.

But what about the rest
Of the hungry AL East —
Those Red Sox and Rays,
Those Orioles and Blue Jays?
Like it or not, three of these beasts
Rule the AL’s wild-card menu.

But hey, that’s a speculative dream,
Maybe a thought in the extreme.
It’s more likely than not
That these baseball carnivores —
Forget here any herbivores —
Will actively consume each other
In the AL East’s cannibal-diner.