Get Me Rewrite!

by James Finn Garner

The Tinseltown Team looking fab
The Bombers in line for the slab
Then a flick of the wrist
A storyline twist
And our hope for more games gets a jab.

O Captain! My Captain!

by Hart Seely

O Captain! my Captain!
Our fearful trip is done,
The ship has sprung a thousand leaks,
The prize we sought is gone.

The end is near, the drums I hear,
The bleachers steadily clearing,
The faithful weep; in sight, a sweep,
Juan Soto disappearing.

But o, Boone! Boone! Boone!
Bring gallon jugs of wine,
For deep on deck my Captain lies,
Struck out, oh for nine.

 

Homeward Bound

Sung to the tune of the Simon & Garfunkel song

I’m sitting here at second base
Was patient with the Dodgers’ ace
Mmm-mmmm
At last I found a pitch to hit
Hope my teammates find some grit
Not asking for a new Mike Schmidt
Just one at-bat where they don’t quit

Homeward bound
I wish I was homeward bound

Home, oh my legs are twitching
Home, but the Dodgers’ pitching
Home, my Yanks bewitching
Staring at strike three…

Be it Soto, Chisholm, Aaron Judge,
Can someone come through in the clutch?
Mmm-mmmm
What a time to lose their steam
Can’t blame the fans for venting spleens
Does Boonie even have a scheme?
Feel like I’m in a Freudian dream

Homeward bound
I wish I was homeward bound.

Home, oh my legs are twitching
Home, but the Dodgers’ pitching
Home, my Yanks bewitching
Staring at strike three…