by Fred Lovato
Ichiro made Hall
unanimous but for one
there’s always THAT guy
A Baseball Game
By Richard Brautigan
Baudelaire went
to a baseball game
and bought a hot dog
and lit up a pipe
of opium.
The New York Yankees
were playing
the Detroit Tigers.
In the fourth inning
an angel committed
suicide by jumping
off a low cloud.
The angel landed
on second base,
causing the
whole infield
to crack like
a huge mirror.
The game was
called on
account of
fear.
From the book The Pill Versus the Springhill Mine Disaster. Copyright 1965 by Richard Brautigan. Photo by Chris Felver/Getty Images.
Rickey Henderson
RIP to the greatest lead-off hitter of all time. (12/25/58-12/20/24)
Rickey came on Christmas Day
Rickey born in a cab that day
Rickey lightning on the field
Rickey is the Man of Steal
Rickey wins with all his teams
Rickey says what Rickey means
Rickey never gonna quit
Rickey too legit to quit
Rickey slowing down? Never!
Rickey gonna run forever.
The Hirsute of Happiness
by Greg Simetz
The Yankees offseason was not inconsequential;
They lost slugger Soto whom all deemed fundamental
But the Cash Man got busy, signed Bellinger, Goldschmidt and Fried
Though the bigger news by far came from the facial hair side:
Their beard ban was shaved after a 50-year drought.
The ground crew’s been ordered to let stubble sprout
So come Opening Day, here’s the new Murderer’s Row:
Wells, Stanton and Volpe sporting 5 o’clock shadows.
Can ZZ Top Bombers stop the Dodgers from winning?
Or stop beating themselves in horrific 5th innings?
There’s only one thing for sure we’ll all get to see:
Aaron Judge going from goat to goatee.
Low and Outside #1
by Jim Siergey
