Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
5 weeks & 3 dismissed jurors later
(jurors having fallen asleep
during counsel’s endless
seemingly pointless examination
& then by law let go)
this trial has exceeded boredom
is now treading in dysfunctional limbo
& has left a bitter taste:
day-by-day less truth is being
observed/served & one could wish
somebody would call off the whole
thing on account “of legal rain”
Permissible or not
There seems to be a drought
Of honesty afoot
Pitching maybe-perjury
Clemens seems for once
To be outta his league
His domineering stance
On the mound not found
Now drugs/performance
An arguance
More finger pointing it seems
As ugly truths are exhumed
BALTIMORE ORIOLES
Each summer’s the same—
Young hopefuls and old hopeless
Trapped in the basement.
BOSTON RED SOX
The Hub returns to
Valentine’s Day, which we thought
Was ten years ago.
NEW YORK YANKEES
It seems so pettitte—
That the biggest worry is
Who’ll be fifth starter.
TAMPA BAY RAYS
Quality starters,
Like oranges, can be grown
By best and brightest.
TORONTO BLUE JAYS
O young club of hope,
Answer me this one question:
Have you any chance?
By Stuart Shea
Man in a white suit
Stealing signs for the Blue Jays
But they still don’t win.
Roger Clemens says “I’ll walk”
to clustered eager media
leaving court prosecution balked
warned by a bench previous
Know the rules
don’t fudge the facts
just prove the act
(& steroids run to trivia
rupturing historia)
Now $10 Million of trial prep
taxpayer dollars up in smoke
Clemens amid hollers walks
backdoor to Cooperstown