Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Gregory Soto
Swears like a mofo
When he misses with that strike,
Let’s hope he’s not miked.
Nelson Cruz
Has paid his dues
A better batter in his fifth decade
He’ll go straight from the trainer’s room to Medicaid.
Marcus Semien
Is an infield chameleon
He currently looks great in Blue
Could easily switch to Cardinal or Red, too.
Yusei Kikuchi
Would like to send a smoochie
To his mom and dad in Japan
And all the Saitama Seibu Lions fans.
In far-off Buffalo,
Where midges fly
And the Blue Jays of Toronto
Now play their home games …
It was something special,
Something never seen before:
When the dust had settled,
At the end of the first inning,
People scratched their heads:
They’d just seen the Yankees turn
A 1-3-6-2-5-6 triple play —
The first in baseball history.
Finally … a “grown-up victory,”
As the play-by-play guy said.
The frustrated faithful needed this.
Down 5-2, and fans grumbling
‘Bout the three-game slide and
“Not again. This is a division game!” …
But the Pinstripe bats woke up,
The bullpen came alive, and
Finally … a win for fans to relish.
On the ’66 Dodgers
I was the youngster on a staff of mostly veterans,
and I learned all I could from them
I couldn’t learn to throw a fastball or curve
like Koufax, that’s something that can’t be taught
But there were a couple of others
I could and did learn some tricks from
(wink wink)
I won’t rat them out even posthumously;
they know who they are,
and they have my eternal gratitude
“Bubble, bubble. Toil and …”
Nineteen home runs in three straight games.
Baseball records are being made
As The Bats of Endor have come together.
The Toronto Blue Jays went to Yankee Woods
And were swept away by The Thanes of Bronx.
Something awesome, something special,
Is going on in the Bronx.