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Fire Cats

by James Finn Garner

Somebody let the Tigers get hot
No one told Houston the plot
AJ Hinch gave his old squad a swat
Somebody let the Tigers get hot

Now Cleveland’s about to get taught
The summer games might come to naught
Somebody let the Tigers get hot

Whatever team comes down the slot
They still lose when they’ve shot their shot
Somebody let the Tigers get hot

Are these rookies aware what they’ve got?
Any need for vets they forgot
Playing with Red Bull, courage and snot
Youthful spirit means quite a lot
Call them “Tigertown Tots”
And they’ll tie your tongue in a knot
What hath the Ilitches wrought?
Somebody let the Tigers get hot.

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Opening Weekend

by Stephen Jones

The Yankees swept the Astros
Thanks in part to Juan Soto
And his late-inning heroics.

I know, I know: one weekend
Doesn’t make a whole season,
But there are smiles in the Bronx.

 

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I See You Guys

by Dusty Baker

I see you guys in the video room,
just looking at your swings,
reading all these stats.

At some point, you have to just say,
“F— all that s—”
and just go out there and hit.

All I hear is y’all talking about
launch angle
and tendences
and exit velocity.

F—ing exit velocity!?
Motherf—ing exit velocity?!
How about motherf—ing exit hits?!