by James Finn Garner
The A’s are chasing the ‘Stros
At a pace to amaze all of those
Who pull for a miracle
In the pennant empirical–
But may, with the tease, bring fans woes.
Them M’s
by James Finn Garner
What’s behind the Mariners’ run?
They might catch Houston before they’re done.
The Emerald City is having some fun
While pundits predicted there would be none.
The spotty offense isnt’ scoring a ton–
The run differential this season is 1!
They don’t, I expect, like things overdone
In the Land of Lattes and Male Hair Buns.
All-Star Clerihews 4: With a Vengeance
George Springer
Makes a humdinger
Of a Mojito
Garnished with Fritos.
Michael Brantley
Once appeared scantily
As a Chippendale dancer
Though it’s a query he won’t answer.
Blake Treinin
Takes the BART train in
To SF when the A’s don’t play–
A peripatetic citizen of the Bay.
Willson Contreras
Has never seen Paris
Nor does he care to,
Since he cannot “Parlez-vous”.
All-Star Clerihews 2: Clerihewer
Javier Baez,
Everyone says,
Is El Mago
de Chicago.
Jose Altuve
Likes his granola bars chewy
But has no affection
For other confections.
Nick Markakis
Started a fracas
When he suggested Atlanta might try to reach
And name a street for something other than a peach.
Christian Yelich
Would like to squelich
Any rumors that he
Doesn’t like playing in Milwaukee.
All-Star Clerihews
Corey Kluber
Ain’t such a goober
As to respond to missives
From Nigerian princes.
Ross Stripling
Loves his Rudyard Kipling.
After arguing with umpires,
He enjoys stories of empire.
Alex Bregman
Claims he is the Eggman,
But we all know Elvis Andrus
Is the Walroos.
Mookie Betts
Is as good as it gets
At patiently giving curves a look-see,
and also at being named Mookie.