by James Finn Garner
The A’s are chasing the ‘Stros
At a pace to amaze all of those
Who pull for a miracle
In the pennant empirical–
But may, with the tease, bring fans woes.
Winners and Loaizas
by Hilary Barta
News Item: Former All-Star Estaban Loaiza To Plead Guilty in Felony Drug Case
An ex-pitcher arrested for coke
Once was rich, but confesses he’s broke
Played a sport with the skill
To earn 43 mill
Life’s a bitch; so invest, you jamoke.
All-Star Clerihews 4: With a Vengeance
George Springer
Makes a humdinger
Of a Mojito
Garnished with Fritos.
Michael Brantley
Once appeared scantily
As a Chippendale dancer
Though it’s a query he won’t answer.
Blake Treinin
Takes the BART train in
To SF when the A’s don’t play–
A peripatetic citizen of the Bay.
Willson Contreras
Has never seen Paris
Nor does he care to,
Since he cannot “Parlez-vous”.
Yankees 7, Oakland 6
by Stephen Jones
The weather was cold;
So were the Yanks.
More thunder overhead
Than in their game.
They’d lost two in a row
Already, and the chill rain
Had chased away many
To apartments that were warm.
But those who stuck around
Got to see free baseball,
And what’s becoming frequent:
A Pinstripe extra-inning win.
3 Stooges and Connie Mack
By Hilary Barta
Look out for the bat, you poor schmuck!
Wear a mask, or get back, at least duck!
Stop the presses–it’s huge!
Connie Mack is a Stooge?
Put that in your hat! Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!
We are glad Mr. Mack wore a hat that day, so he could play catcher.