by James Finn Garner
T’other night, the M’s honored King Felix
And proceeded (coded in their double helix?)
To spot Kirby no runs.
Seattle’s daughters and sons
Still enjoy their salmon, coffee and analgesics.
Property Protection
by Randy Johnson
I don’t own a gun
but I keep a bag of baseballs
near our bed.
If someone breaks in
they better be wearing a
batting helmet
because
I’m going to be throwing
at their head.
Old-School Reps
by James Finn Garner
I don’t think the new analytics
Would’ve helped Norm Cash worth a lick
For Killebrew, Mantle,
F. Robby and Randle,
A beer and a cig did the trick.
This Year’s Departures
by James Finn Garner
The season is done, the jocks are stored
Only two teams are left on the board
Let’s pause now, while for Friday we wait,
And salute the retirements of a few greats.
Pujols hit his 700th for the Cards
And now will have time to work on his yard.
Bosox and Cubs champ Jon Lester
Now is an official hammock tester.
Music lover Kurt Suzuki
Can learn the banjo or bouzouki
After the majors, Ádrian González played on
But after this year, A-Gon done gone.
Melky Cabrera, the man and the myth,
Will star in community theater: “The Melkman Cometh.”
And if anyone’s looking for J.A. Happ,
He’s out on the patio, taking a nap.
Choppy Seas
by James Finn Garner
The Mariners had the game in the can
Everything according to plan
Bring in Muñoz
And let Sewald close
But then came Hurricane Yordan.
