Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Here comes our buddy Lance Lynn
Remember when we took him in?
To save our rotation
And catch Red Socks Nation…
His season belonged in the bin.
Now he’s an ace with the Rangers
A symbol of all of the dangers
Of letting Cash loose
To get pitching, by Zeus…
His choices can hardly get stranger.
This, like so many other good things, comes from the Yankee blog, It Is High, It Is Far, It Is…caught.
Mike Moustakas
Shakes air-maracas
When he sets his phone to play
“Not Fade Away.”
Anthony Rendon
Is bad to the bone
A little George Thoroughgood
Puts him in a killer mood.
George Springer
Is adroit with dingers
And often later
Brings more taters.
Hunter Pence
Is still intense
But has learned to be discrete
In the Texas heat.
As the season ends and the playoffs loom,
Let us pause a sec and make some room
In our doggerel feed for those athletes
Who’re hanging up mitts and jocks and cleats.
The Jints will miss ol’ Hunter Pence
Of flaming beard and glare intense.
After so many seasons, Bartolo Colon
Will finally get to shower alone.
Minnesotans, pray to your higher power
For another guy even close to Mauer.
Now David Wright, Mets’ grand old man,
Will have to watch them choke from the stands.
With the Angels’ collapse, Mike Scioscia
Might do well inspecting for OSHA.
Chase Utley being out of the game
Frees me from trying to rhyme his name.
And with no regrets, let’s bid adieu
And good riddance to Chief Wahoo.
News Item: Former All-Star Estaban Loaiza To Plead Guilty in Felony Drug Case
An ex-pitcher arrested for coke
Once was rich, but confesses he’s broke
Played a sport with the skill
To earn 43 mill
Life’s a bitch; so invest, you jamoke.
Corey Kluber
Ain’t such a goober
As to respond to missives
From Nigerian princes.
Ross Stripling
Loves his Rudyard Kipling.
After arguing with umpires,
He enjoys stories of empire.
Alex Bregman
Claims he is the Eggman,
But we all know Elvis Andrus
Is the Walroos.
Mookie Betts
Is as good as it gets
At patiently giving curves a look-see,
and also at being named Mookie.