By Stuart Shea
Jake’s pretty tough–
He has no-hit stuff
Each time he goes out to play.
It’s hard to countenance,
But giving him a chance
Just wasn’t the Oriole way.
The 60-Year-Old Outfielder
By Stuart Shea
The Cubs have the buzz
For all their young players
Approaching the mark,
But aren’t out of the dark–
Their best catch of the year
Came from a fan
Snagging a ball
Hit out of the park.
Natural Selection for Darwin
by James Finn Garner
Darwin Barney is out of a job
One more part of the unemployed mob
.   To see his kid’s birth
.   He ceded his berth
Now at the playground will hobnob.
Jake in June
By Stuart Shea
Freed from the Oriole Way
Was Jake Arrietay
Came to Chicago to play
Did Jake Arrietay.
Mowed down hitters all day
Did Jake Arrietay
With a beard of sunburned hay
Did Jake Arrietay.
Fandemonium
by Hilary Barta
I’m faced with a team that keeps losing
Disgraced, they are not of my choosing
Should I snort and yell “Boo!”,
Or support them, stay true?
Cubs debased-ball is very confusing.
Your day should start with a visit to Hilary’s pop-culture-and-monster-movie limerick site, LimerWrecks. Ask your doctor.