by Hilary Barta
There’s a pall on the breeze in the air
Though there’s ball, for the freeze they prepare
.   In Chicago the fans
.   make their long winter plans
as they fall on their knees in despair
There’s a pall on the breeze in the air
Though there’s ball, for the freeze they prepare
.   In Chicago the fans
.   make their long winter plans
as they fall on their knees in despair
Zambrano’s again under fire
for wanting to early retire
.   The combustible hothead
.   is just a big knothead
who’d ignite his own funeral pyre
Hilary Barta’s limericks on movies, comics and pop culture can be found every day at LimerWrecks.
By Stuart Shea
When Big Z said “I quit”
Jim Hendry jumped for joy–
That’s 18 million dollars he could save.
Of course, Big Z then said,
“I’m just an excitable boy,
And I hope you’ll let me back inside the cave.”
21 home runs, almost a phenom,
now 0-34, staring down a demon
looking up at the Mendoza line.
Was it the maple bat shattered by Castillo
that impaled him leading off third base
that erased his confidence and put him below
The mythical Mendoza line, .200 or .215,
usually reserved for good-field no-hit shortstops,
but for a young slugger, obscene.
The fast ball’s now an aspirin, the slider disappears,
the pitchers’ location always perfect, what happened to the cheers
and to the confidence that made him dangerous just a year ago?
Where did it go?
So back to Des Moines, is that spark gone for good?
looking up at the Mendoza line, as high as Everest,
still remembering that piece of wood
sticking from his chest.
by Hilary Barta
The Cubs and the Sox have done battle
The fans cheered their ‘siders like cattle
.    But the final at bat
.    Felt tiny and flat,
As A.J. gave up the death rattle
Of course you know, Hilary Barta is a world-class illustrator and pens limericks every day over at LimerWrecks, right? C’mon, get your head out of the sand.