by Hilary Barta
Kyle Hendricks, no ace all a-glitter,
Ain’t trending on Facebook or Twitter,
So isn’t it strange
This wiz with the change
Contends for a late fall no-hitter?
Aroldis Chapman Miles Per Hour
by Hilary Barta
You just swung through his one-oh-two.
The ball’s a pea at one-oh-three.
But don’t ignore his one-oh-four:
You won’t survive the one-oh-five.
Summer Cold
by Hilary Barta
Once so hot they could jump in the Lake,
Cubs looked shot as they slumped toward the break.
While Joe Maddon stays placid
We old fans drop antacid
‘Cause we’ve had all the lumps we can take.
All-Star Game Clerihews
Salvador Perez–
No matter what anyone says–
Denies ever sharing a tanning booth
With Dr. Ruth.
Jose Altuve
Is fond of the movies,
Especially those that feature
Brain-eating creatures.
Mike Trout
Sulks and pouts.
As the sole Angel, he doesn’t get very far
With his funny imitation of Yunel Escobar.
Ben Zobrist
Has always been so pissed
At being last alphabetically
That he takes his revenge athletically.
Chicago at the Bat: Both Sides Now
by Hilary Barta
With apologies to Ernest Lawrence Thayer
On the North side and the South side, the sun is shining bright;
“Go, Cubs, Go” and “Na na na na” are heard both day and night;
Both Yuppies and construction guys are given cause to shout;
Yes, there’s joy in two Chicagos — winning baseball’s the new “clout”.