Them Versus Dem

by Sid Yiddish
Well, the Sox fans hate the Cubs fans,
And the Cubs fans hate the Sox fans,
Yet, both teams are doing so very well.
So why, why do the fans give each other hell?
It couldn’t be a Northside versus Southside stigma, now could it?

Still, let’s get one thing straight:
There are vital differences between them,

And it all boils down to this…

White collar versus blue collar,
Upper management versus the union,
Family versus The Family,
Particular versus pride,
The SUV versus the family van,
Pencil-neck versus redneck,
The prize trophy wife versus the missus,
The hunks versus the hits,
The stunts versus the stats,
The goat versus the gut.

But it’s the Sox fans who can take the heat, versus the Cub fans who will try to sell you the entire kitchen.

Posted 8/11/08 

The Death of the Bleacher Bum

by Gary Gillette

From my mother’s basement I fell into the Friendly Confines,
And I hunched in its bleachers till my beer-soaked hair froze.
Six miles from first place, loosed from its dream of October,
I woke to black caps and the nightmare Sox fans.
When I puked my guts out, they washed them off the seats with a hose.

Paying homage to Randall Jarrell…

Posted 5/13/08 

Gavin Givin’ His All

by James Finn Garner

The Sox hopes are buoyed
By young Gavin Floyd.
Could this hurler be one for the eras?

If not, then they’re stuck
With Buerhle’s bad luck
And “forever young” Jose Contreras.

Posted 4/29/08 

The Flight of Goose Gossage

by Sandy Marshall

Goose Gossage,
Goose Gossage,
You are your own Bossage,
You have your own mitt that you sign and Embossage.

Goose Gossage,
Goose Gossage,
You always will Flossage,
Your round rolling stone will ne’er gather no Mossage.

Goose Gossage,
Goose Gossage,
You boot up with DOSsage,
You always predict the results of coin Tossage.

Goose Gossage,
Goose Gossage,
Your car drives with Nossage,
And you play like you dance, like the winged Bob Fossage.

(Sandy’s site, with his comedy teammates: Schadenfreude.net)

Posted 8/3/07

Magglio’s Last Laugh

by James Finn Garner

When Kenny Williams told Maggs
To pack up his bags,
Hinting grit wasn’t one of his talents,

Kenny hadn’t the notion
That he’d set in motion
An era of Motown Magg-nificence.

Magglio got maligned
but later was signed
By Tiger whiz David Dombrowski.

Now he’s hitting like Gehrig,
While the White Sox are staring
over their shoulders, worried ’bout Kansas City.

Posted 7/25/07