MLB All-Bro Team

1B   Gentleman Jim Hickman
2B   Guy Ousley
SS   Guy Sularz
3B   Dude Esterbrook

LF   Hi Ladd
CF   Cool Papa Bell
RF   Guy Curtright

C    Chappy Lane

LHP   Guy Hoffman, Rex Brothers
RHP   Bob Feller, Robert Person, Bob Friend, Pete Ladd

MGR   Manny Acta

MLB All Happy Team

1B   Pop Joy
2B   Bill Smiley
SS    Jurickson Prozac
3B   Chipper Jones

LF   Smead Jolley
CF   Happy Felsch
RF   Jim Gleeson

C    Joe Garrulous-giola

LHP   Happy Foreman, Drew Smyly, John Smiley, Aaron Laffey
RHP   Happy Townsend, Julian Merryweather, Dave Jolly, Buddy Lively

MGR    Jolly Cholly Grimm

 

MLB All-Pizza-Toppings Team

1B   Anchovy Rizzo
2B   Jake Cauli-Flowers
SS   Artichoke Fletcher
3B   Pepper Peploski

LF   Pepperoni Martin
CF   Kyle Garlick
RF   Shin-Soo Shroom

C     Manny Jala-Piña
PH   Crusty Staub

LHP   Tayler Saucedo, Eddie Bacon, Bud Black Olives
RHP   Pete Hamm, Mark Hamburger, Roy Parmesanlee

MGR   Lou Pineapple

MLB All-New-Wave Team

1B   Pop Joy Division
2B   Echo and the Bunnyman Downs
SS   Split Enzo Hernández
3B   Jimmie Fixx

LF   Cars Yastrzemski
CF   Denard Spandau Ballet
RF   Max Flack of Seagulls

C   Tuffy Darts Gosewisch

LHP   Jesse English Beat, Roberto Durán Durán
RHP   Louis Talking Head, Vern Tears for Fear, Dave Soft Sells

MGR   Blondie Purcell

MLB All-Don-Martin-Sound-Effects Team

By Stuart Shea, Jim Siergey and James Finn Garner

1B   John Kruk
2B   Frank Sigafoos
SS   Sibby Sisti
3B   Wayne Krenchicki

LF   Mark Funderburk
CF   Richie Zisk
RF   Louis Sockalexis

C    Erik Kratz

LHP   Thomas Szapucki, Paul Splittorff
RHP   Lee Pfund, Cy Slapnicka, Joe Slusarski, Yorman Bazardo

MGR   Gavvy Kravath