Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Groin injuries and nutshots in games and exhibitions
Lourdes Gurriel
Knows Seattle well.
He loves their seafood and coffee thing
And wants to attend Wagner’s “Ring.”
Bryce Elder
Spends the off-season as a gelder.
Separating boars from their testes
Keeps him at his besties.
Spencer Strider
Has a thing about spiders.
Even though his last name does that Middle Earth thing,
He can’t bear to sit through “Lord of the Rings.”
Justin Steele
“Has a heart just like a wheel,
“Let him roll it to you.”
(He’s a big Macca fan, too.)
It’s been a rough year for the Pods
Who were meant to be winning, by odds.
While weak has been Bogaerts,
And Machado’s been worse,
Soto’s tapped Tatís in the grods.
Soto did Tatis dirty
(via @ilivedb1tch) pic.twitter.com/Pb0CuSlHba
— Jomboy Media (@JomboyMedia) July 8, 2023
Tigers outfielder Akil Baddoo
Tried to stretch one base into two
Was hit near the base
In his own carapace
A two-bagger, one-sacker miscue.
A foul tip in the ol’ concertina
Has now clipped the Cards’ catcher Molina
A clout to the junk
Knocked him out for the month
But won’t flip Yadi’s stat to “Latina”
The bigger they are, the more they hurt…
So Juan Uribe got a just dessert
With a liner in the groin.
And that’s not a roll of coins,
And he’s NOT happy to see you.
From GQ: Juan Uribe Has a Very Good Excuse for Not Wearing a Cup