A’s to Las Vegas!

Old bay city with a baseball team
Once the home of Moneyball
Playing in what looks like an airplane hangar
Or Appalachian shopping mall

But the owner doesn’t think he’s milking enough
Fields a team full of losers and scrubs
And dares the local fans if they’ve had enough

A’s to Las Vegas! A’s to Las Vegas!

Old city sort of offered a deal
But Vegas had a lot more flash
Fisher didn’t get as rich as he is
By expending his own cash

East Bay lore disappears in smoke
Swingin’ A’s, Bash Brothers tossed in a poke
Nevada taxpayers, get ready to choke…

A’s to Las Vegas! A’s to Las Vegas!

Sin City got them legal hookers,
All-day casinos and sports book bookers,
Booze, coke, poppers and meth,
Donny Osmond, Penn & Teller,
And machine gun rental…
Sitting at a ballgame?
They might as well check if you’re dead!

So money talks and bullshit walks
An old credo, tried and true,
Leverage turns soon into blackmail
While the regular guys get screwed

Get ready for baseball the Vegas way
The rock-hard infield is ready to play
And more empty seating than Tampa Bay

A’s to Las Vegas! A’s to Las Vegas!
A’s to … A’s to …
Las Vegas!

La Russa La Loca

by Greg Simetz

Tony La Russa intentionally walked a batter
with two strikes and two outs
The next guy up hit a homer,
bringing Tony’s mind into doubt.

A head scratching choice
A questionable call
Tony swore the statistics
Would cause the Dodgers to stall.

But the Sox have a plan
to get back on the right track:
Swapping 77-year-old La Russa
for 87-year-old Connie Mack.

(Editor’s Error! This limerick was submitted in June of 2022, but was lost in the Inbox.)

 

Timer Has Come Today

by Stuart Shea

“Tick, tick, tick”
A sound I never hoped to associate with baseball.
Sick, sick, sick
The thinking that baseball is dull.
Ick, ick, ick
The inside of Rob Manfred’s mind
Maybe that’s unkind
But some people are blind
To what makes baseball such a kick!

 

Lou Brock

by Michael Ceraolo

Jackie and Willie and many others
helped bring the stolen base back to the game;
I did my part, especially in the Series
I saw the asterisk nonsense
the Commissioner pulled
with Maury Wills and Roger Maris
and I vowed that wouldn’t happen with me
I know it was a different commissioner,
but I wasn’t taking any chances
on him issuing a similar ruling,
and I succeeded.

Go, Tony, Go

by Stuart Shea

It’s been a rough stretch for the Pale Hose,
A title expected by friends and foes.
The thing to do, fast,
Is to write off the past
And send off Big T for a nice doze.