Category: Scandals

They call him the masculine tower

He can hit a home run with such power,

            From San Fran’s west coast     

            And so quick with the boast 

“I can do it again in an hour”!

 

Every fan now has reason to ponder

Every long ball that’s hit way out yonder,

            Is the batter legit     

            Or a crass hypocrite 

And a good-name-of-baseball absconder?

 

From the city of quaint San Francisco

And a blast from his muscular wrist, oh.

            Plus a shot in his thigh

            You should see the ball fly, 

To the town of San Luis Obispo

by Lou Carlozo

Despite Barry Bonds’ many homers,
It appears that his body’s a loaner,

For his steroid technique
Birthed an android’s physique:

An aluminum bat for a boner.

by Doug White

Took the best chemicals that man could make
Because a prized record he wanted to break,

But too many injections
Led to so much rejection,

And thus Barry’s been labeled a fake

by Tom Shea

O, his blood is clean as a geranium!
Here’s how Barry Bonds fills every stadium:

Weight work in the off-season
‘S the sole, simple reason

For his huge, massive, 90-pound cranium.