by James Finn Garner
Now, everyone knows it’s legit
When Barry Bonds strokes out a hit.
It ain’t no shot in the rear
With the cream or the clear.
It’ s…genes and….hard work and…like, that shit.
Barry Bonds #11
by Jim Powers
Though Bonds swings a bat with great speed,
He calls juice accusations hackneyed.
“What fun is to hit?
I don’t give a shit–
I like sliding on slick shoulders acne’d.”
Barry Bonds #10
by Doug White
Barry Bonds wanted so badly
To be just a little more manly
And hit the ball higher
Than Mark fucking McGwire–
Now no one remembers him fondly.
Barry Bonds #9
by Lou Carlozo
There once was a hitter named Barry
Who mouthed off at each Tom, Dick and Harry.
No one could explain
Til the steroids made plain
That his brain synapse “bonds” had gone hairy.
Barry Bonds #7
by James Finn Garner and Stu Shea
Bud Selig won’t say if he’ll go
When Bonds has his really big show
And sets the new mark
For hits out of the park,
‘Cuz the commish ain’t a man to eat crow.