White Sox Strategic Planning

by GM Chris Getz

If you would have told me
we were going to end up
flirting with the record,

I would have been
a little surprised.

Now if you would have told me
prior to the year
that we would have ended up
with over 100 losses,

105,

110,

I wouldn’t have been
as surprised.

Big Klu

by James Finn Garner

When Leo the Lip tried to name
The five strongest bats in the game
He omitted Ted Klu
Hinted he lived in the zoo
Human being? He’s not quite the same.

When Hall of Fame manager Leo Durocher was once asked by a writer to name five of the strongest players in baseball, he complied. However, when the writer pointed out that he’d left Ted Kluszewski off the list, Durocher huffed and said, “Kluszewski? I’m talking about human beings!” Happy 100th birthday, Big Klu!

Hello, Goodbye

by James Finn Garner

Guardian Anthony Gose
Comes and goes
Goes and comes
Up and down I-71

Up to Cleveland
Down to Columbus
Too bad to keep
Too good to dump

Four times in a month
He’s been DFA’d,
Eerily close to Buddy Holly:
Don’t Fade Away.”

 

MLB All-Triple-X-Rated Team

1B   Jimmie Foxx
2B   Xavier Edwards
SS   Xander Bogaerts
3B   Ollie Sax

LF   Leovigildo Xiqués
CF   Xavier Paul
RF   Ox Eckhardt

C    Poindexter Williams

LHP   Xavier Cedeño

RHP   Xzavion Curry, Kanekoa Texeira, Axel Lindstrom

MGR   Dicta Johnson

Alex Bregman is very popular.

The Bambino’s New Clothes

by James Finn Garner

They just auctioned off the shirt
Worn by the Babe when he put the hurt
On the Cubs in the Series of ’32.
We all fall for this dippity-do
Of the “called shot”, yet
The Babe himself plumb forgot
To mention it ’til 20 years later,
Making it a stale, strange tater.
Would Cubs pitcher Root, further,
Not have wished that showboat murder
And thrown a fastball at his ear
Next time up, to local cheers?
It’s a myth, okay? A tall tale, a fable.
Just ‘cuz the sellers say they are able
To verify the jersey through “photo-match”,
And other wits say aye, the whole klatsch
Is in the end a suspicious familia,
All making bank on each other’s memorabilia.

What was true then is true now, don’t be mistaken:
There’s one born every minute, and two to take him.

Babe Ruth ‘called shot’ Yankees jersey fetches record $24M