Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Au revoir, Dusty
In you did we trusty
Smart, passionate, steady
Toothpick at the ready
Giant, Astro, Dodger, Cub
You always improved a club
You have nothing more to prove
And lots of grandchildren to love
Raise a glass of Baker Wine
And celebrate the good times.
To earn Bochy another trophy:
$how Corey Seager that you’re eager
Give Semien a couple extra million
Grow l’esprit of Garcia
Give up da funk for Jung
Pray Mad Max can still stack
Then parry with Montgomery
And stay out of the bullpen
whenever you can.
A shootout between Rangers and ‘Stros
Is a beaut for old Texas foes.
Is Scherzer all right?
Is it St. Crispin’s Night?
Which squad will become Texas Toast?
A master thief is Leody Tavares
Stealing home runs from over tall fences
Think one is long gone?
Oh hun, you’d be wrong
He’s the David Niven of Texas’ defenses.
Start with pitching from Aaron Nola
Rich and smoky as cappicola
Add a Castellanos tater
And two bombs from Schwarber later
And hot corner sauce from Alec Bohm
Stingy as a Hogwarts gnome
Serve in a park where the foundations shake —
All that equals famine for the Snakes.
