Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
By Stuart Shea
Rocks usually roll downhill.
These Rockies aren’t just landfill.
Left for dead in early May,
They’re in the playoff hunt today.
Playing halfway up the sky,
The Rockies feel a mile high.
The Cards may be their October foe,
Which ought to make a lovely show.
They’ll face a guy they used to pay–
That hitting star, Matt Holliday.
With Denver smog vs. St. Louis heat,
The Coors and Bud should flow quite sweet.
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Posted 9/22/2009
by James Finn Garner
.
Milton Bradley got into Trouble
Caught in the Wrigley Field bubble.
A Payday enormous
For such poor performance.
Now his Career’s nothing but rubble.
.
Sorry, Milt, that Chicago’s blunt fans
Made it seem less than a Candyland.
That’s the Risk that you take
Living Life by the lake.
It’s like permanent Ants in the Pants.
.
Is the Aggravation because you are black?
Balderdash, Milty, You Don’t Know Jack.
We all had a Clue
This is what you would do.
Last Word: Your Cranium‘s cracked.
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Posted 9/21/2009
By Stuart Shea
If Pablo Sandoval
Has a fault at all
It’s simply that his uniform can’t fit.
Nobody looks like him
And it will be quite grim
If sometime soon his uniform pants split.
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Posted 9/15/2009
Thank you, Sara, for the favor.
Sara’s newest novel, Hardball, stars her well-known detective V.I. Warshawski and will hit bookstores on Sept. 22. You can order your copy here.
Posted 9/11/2009
By James Finn Garner
“Derrek Lee said 2009 is just one of “those years” and believes the Cubs don’t have to make many changes to get back to playoff form. “It could be totally different [in 2010],” the first baseman said.” — Chicago Tribune, 9/8/2009
This season’s been a let-down.
Except for a bad break or two,
We might be in the thick of things
Instead of trailing by 22.
Heaven knows we tried our best.
You can’t blame us guys on the team.
Every day is a titanic struggle,
No matter how blasé we may seem.
You can’t force these things to happen.
You can’t get too low or too high.
I hope the fans can understand
As another season’s drifted by.
Posted 9/9/2009