Buy More Bonds
Barry Bonds, Barry Bonds,
Won’t someone please buy Barry Bonds?
The burly man-child at 44
Surely can give something more.
While the Rangers could use his mighty bat,
Texas must have a big enough hat.
In Minnesota he could deliver the goods,
And spend days off prowling the woods.
In New York, the powerful media glare
Would show if there’s any personality there.
Washington would enjoy spinning turnstiles,
And be handy for the start of his perjury trial.
It’s time to move to make the playoffs this year.
Come on! He can give SOMEONE a shot in the rear!
Posted 8/18/08
The End?
By Stuart Shea
The Cubs are the best team in baseball.
So good that your toes may curl.
I’m worried that we may be approaching the end of the world.
A black man may become president.
No matter what sludge Repubs hurl.
I’m worried that we may be approaching the end of the world.
The hole in the ozone layer is wide–
With enough space to fit Terry Forster inside
Our societies reek of fratricide
While starving untold millions have died.
Just like in Kinsella’s great story,
Those in control don’t know what to do.
All I know is that when we all go
We prob’ly won’t bleed Cubbie blue.
Posted 8/15/08
Grandy
by James Finn Garner
Grandy!
No one with a bat is more handy,
With a stance coiled like ribbon candy.
Grandy!
His gait is smooth like aged brandy,
Stretching singles into doubles his modus operandi.
Grandy!
In any outfield, verdant or sandy,
He’ll grab more flies than the Rio Grande.
With five skills at his command, he
Picks up his team like a Starbucks grande.
He could melt the heart of Tristram Shandy.
Man o man, that kid is dandy.
Can’t you tell? I love Grandy!
Posted 8/8/08
