Mike MacDougal

by Stu Shea

 

The Royals were frugal

And traded Mike MacDougal.

Chicago now employs him–

He turns ballgames into kugel.

On The Cubs’ Bullpen

by Stu Shea


Some folks take a pill for relief,

But Piniella’s relief

Makes him feel like a pill.


When Howry and Eyre let it loose,

Sweet Lou turns chartreuse

When he looks toward the hill.


It’s just a bad Ohman to see

The rookie, Cherry,

Looking in for the sign.


They’re going from bad to Wuertz,

And watching them hurts

With the game on the line.


Pirates’ Lament

By Stu Shea

The high seas ain’t what they used to be.

We used to have Willie,

And Bobby Clemente,

And Bobby Bo, Andy, Jim Leyland, and Barry.

Now we have Nady,

And Tom Gorzelanny.

 

 

Barry Bonds #2

by James Finn Garner

A colossal slugger named Barry
Had an outlook cheerful and merry,

Til you ask if his muscles
Come from workout room hustle,

Then he’ll threaten to rip your arms off and shove them up your ass because you’re always picking on him.

Barry Bonds #1

by James Finn Garner

Barry Bonds put himself to the test,
To beat Babe Ruth’s tally his quest.

To be home run king,
He would try anything.

So what if he grew some huge breasts?