Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
If you want to bash,
The bat you need is ash.
Any sentient ape’ll
Tell you to reject maple.
Waving around some hickory
Is no way to victory.
Maybe at a minimum,
Settle for aluminum.
But if you want a healthy slash
Line, I again opine: ASH!
RIP to the greatest lead-off hitter of all time. (12/25/58-12/20/24)
Rickey came on Christmas Day
Rickey born in a cab that day
Rickey lightning on the field
Rickey is the Man of Steal
Rickey wins with all his teams
Rickey says what Rickey means
Rickey never gonna quit
Rickey too legit to quit
Rickey slowing down? Never!
Rickey gonna run forever.
“Make Canada the 51st state!”
Brays a thief-liar-rapist in hate.
Compassionate, fair,
Straight-up, self-aware–
Canucks are all things he ain’t.
With my bear buddy, Buddy Brown Bear, at a Vancouver Canadians game, June 2023.
Winter’s been raw as a campout in Banff,
Your new basement walls are moldy and damp,
Your curtains caught fire from a knocked-over lamp —
. Relax!
. Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.
Your check-writing hand’s developed a cramp,
Your bills are all due and you ain’t got a stamp,
Creditors cling to your neck like a clamp —
. Smile!
. Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.
Your yard is now split by a new freeway ramp,
Your son is engaged to a gold-digging tramp,
Your “guitar hero” neighbor’s just bought a new amp —
. Life is good!
. Pitchers and catchers are reporting to camp.