Barry Bonds Limerick # 14

By James Finn Garner


Don’t act like it’s all a big mystery

How Barry is rewriting history.

A pact with the devil

Didn’t raise his skill level—

T’was “Better Living Through Chemistry.”

Posted 9/11/2007 

An Ode to Wild Bill Hagy (1938-2007)

By Stuart Shea

Wild Bill Hagy was an Orioles fan,

Looked like most any other big man,

Belly hanging low over loose blue jeans,

Full of cold beer and likewise of beans.

Back in the days ‘fore Camden Yards,

When the orange-clad O’s held all the cards,

Wild Bill Hagy was a half-crazed horse

Who pawed his ground as a cheerleading force.

He stood on the dugout during each game

And spelled out “Orioles” with his mighty frame.

Every O’s fan from near and far

Watched Wild Bill—he became a star.

The years rolled on and the O’s declined,

They left Memorial for a new state of mind.

Hagy didn’t lead cheers at the new park,

The team’s new owners didn’t like that spark.

And now he’s gone, though memories hold,

Of the glorious days of Orioles old,

Of Weaver and Murray, Palmer and Cal,

Dempsey, Roenicke, Pat Kelly, and Al.

Gimme an H!

Gimme an A!

Gimme a G!

Gimme a Y!

What’s that spell?

 

Posted 8/29/2007

Texas Flood

by James Finn Garner

Thirty runs hath the Rangers,
To whom before big games were strangers.

The Orioles ‘pen came out to play
And gave a goose to their ERA.

Saltalamacchia swung his stick
and helped his average 83 clicks.

“Too bad,” the moms of O’s might mewl,
“The bigs don’t have a slaughter rule.”

Posted 8/24/2007

Ode on a White Sock

By Stu Shea

 

Sox lose,

More blues.

‘pen sucks,

Big bucks.

Old team,

Fans scream.

Fire Ken,

Start again.

Oz stays,

He’s crazed.

Bobby Cox Limerick

By James Finn Garner

NEWS ITEM: Bobby Cox was ejected from Tuesday’s game by umpire Ted Barrett. This was Cox’ 132nd ejection, breaking the all-time record previously held by John McGraw.

 

Bobby Cox, did you feel rejection

When you broke McGraw’s mark for ejections?

Noble Brave, please don’t pout,

‘cuz getting thrown out

Endears you to our cheering section.