by James Finn Garner
Dusty Baker notched his 2000th win
With a toothpick lodged into his grin
No World Series ring?
That don’t mean a thing
His record requires no spin.
Photo by David J. Phillips/Associated Press
“The Day Dock Went Hunting Heads”
by The Baseball Project
Rube Benton
by Michael Ceraolo
It’s better to be lucky than good
I wasn’t good:
I knew the Series had been fixed in ’19,
though I’ve always denied that I profited from that knowledge
(wink wink)
And though I fit the Commissioner’s definition
of someone who wasn’t strictly honest,
and though others had been banned for ‘guilty knowledge’,
I was lucky to be a pawn in the game
between the Commissioner and the league presidents,
so I was not banned, and was able to play
three more years in the majors
and then eight years in the minors after that
All-Star Clerihews 2: The Avenging Trail
Shohei Ohtani
Crushes balls unlike any
And pitches like a mystery–
Face it, folks, we’re watching history.
Josh Hader
Might bring his waders
Along on the All-Star break
And do some fishing on a cool Colorado lake.
Jesse Winker
Tends to lay off the sinkers
But he can go nuts
For a well-made cronut.
J.T. Realmuto’s
Favorite might be Pluto
Among cartoon dogs, but he
Identifies the most with Muttley.
Milwaukee Makes Hay
by The Brewer Haiku-er (@brew_haiku)
Game 63. Brewers 7, Pirates 4
It’s a tight ballgame
Then Bucs can’t find the strike zone
And gift us 3 runs.
Game 64. Brewers 7, Pirates 4
Crew down 4 – nothing
Then put up 5 in the 4th
To put Pirates down.
Game 65. Brewers 5, Pirates 2
Winning continues
Crew sweep the Bucs outta town
Now back to the Reds.
The Brewer Haiku-er documents every Brewer game of the season in haiku on Twitter. Other Twitter haiku mavens are @MarinerBasho, @dodgershaiku1, @CardinalHaiku, and @TheCubsinHaiku. Follow them all and give ’em some high-five-seven-fives.