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Skenes Zero-hitZ CubZ

by Dr. Rajesh C. Oza

Inning 1: Zero hits off pitching phenom Paul Skenes;
Three Cubs go down swinging.

Inning 2: Praise the name pronounced Skeenz;
Three more Ks: Ka-ching, Ka-ching, Ka-chinging.

Inning 3: He throws the ball 100 miles per hour;
“Only” one strikeout, but Cubs still have no hits.

Inning 4: From where does the kid get that power?
Two more strikeouts; batters flailing like twits.

Inning 5: Pitch after pitch, Skenes dominates;
A walk spoils his bid for perfection.

Inning 6: Comparisons whispered about all-time greats;
Quick-hook manager says, “You’re done, son.”

Innings 7, 8 and 9: Wrigley Field turns bitter;
Pirates fans grumble, “Coulda been a no-hitter!”

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Eephus

by Brad Roudebush

I have difficulty explaining concisely how I throw the ball.
Its high arc dropping into an imaginary box, as if suspended by cable.
And so I perfect my elevator pitch.

After a 40 year absence, the eephus was resurrected by Rip Sewell for the Pirates in 1941.

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Brad Roudebush’s favorite baseball movie is “Mr. 3000” because when Bernie Mac pulls the hidden ball trick, it accurately portrays that the pitcher may not be standing on the mound.

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NL Central 2023 Spring Training Forecast Haiku

by Stuart Shea

Chicago Cubs
Inside the outfield,
Autumn dream: A Belli dance.
Will it or won’t it?

Cincinnati Reds
Too many men to
Plow the field and not enough
Men to throw the dirt.

Milwaukee Brewers
Blue and golden hop(e)s,
I thought it was still summer—
Then the brew went flat.

Pittsburgh Pirates
Fording three rivers,
Seedy types in fancy suits
Trawl for cheap assets.

St. Louis Cardinals
Spring rain’s mire will tell
Whether the wheels are still good
Or are falling off.

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Roberto Clemente

by Michael Ceraolo

I want to see if the poet
is going to have me speak in dialect
as the sportswriters of my day did;
I spoke English better than they
spoke another language, and sometimes
even better than they spoke English
The great thing about baseball
is that your ability speaks for itself,
it’s not dependent on how someone else
chooses to portray you
And it also allowed me to do things
for other people, one of our reasons for being

The No. 21 is on the pitching mound in honor of Roberto Clemente Day before a baseball game between the Miami Marlins and the Philadelphia Phillies, Thursday, Sept. 15, 2022, in Miami. (AP Photo/Lynne Sladky)
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Max Carey

by Michael Ceraolo

When I played,
my claim to fame was stealing bases;
I even patented sliding pads
Later,
when I was involved in the girls’ game,
I winced every time a player
had to slide in those skirts
We should have let them wear baseball pants