Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Wade Meckler has had quite a week
of which he might not rather speak.
Two inside-the-parkers:
Luke Raley’s, Bryce Harper’s
Beat the outfielder at Hide-and-Seek.
Raley’s off-the-railing ricochet jobby six days ago
Harper’s elusive longball last night
Them Boobirds of Philly? Nowhere to be found.
The bleachers now feature a more joyful sound.
Fans stopped screaming “Chump”
at a guy in a slump–
and their cheers sparked a Trea Turneround.
Trea Turner Thanks Phillies Fans for Standing Ovations with Billboard
It’s July Sale Days with the New York Mets!
Come on down — it’s as good as it gets!
Robertson, closer (we call him Dave),
So many games for you he’ll save!
Look under the hood of our starter Max,
Good despite mileage, and that’s a fact!
Everybody wants a Tommy Pham!
(Sorry, Chisox, no warranty on hams)
Verlander’s on his second career–
Try for a third? You’ll find him here!
Crazy Billy Eppler’s ready to trade!
Start planning your World Series Parade!
Lourdes Gurriel
Knows Seattle well.
He loves their seafood and coffee thing
And wants to attend Wagner’s “Ring.”
Bryce Elder
Spends the off-season as a gelder.
Separating boars from their testes
Keeps him at his besties.
Spencer Strider
Has a thing about spiders.
Even though his last name does that Middle Earth thing,
He can’t bear to sit through “Lord of the Rings.”
Justin Steele
“Has a heart just like a wheel,
“Let him roll it to you.”
(He’s a big Macca fan, too.)
