Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Rhys Hoskins’ first game back in Philly
was a definite “all-the-feel”-er.
Tears in the dugout, hugs with Harper,
and he hammered like Hank off Wheeler.
Chuckles and winks when he swiped second,
to the shock of JT Realmuto.
But an unwelcome visitor back at home–
laid low by a sweet Rojas throw.
Harper’s harrumphs are too much for some umps.
Do his protests go over the line?
With one bearded sneer, he plays them for chumps,
’til it’s “Bat down, now go grab some pine!”
Phillies’ Harper Calls Ump Unprofessional After Controversial Ejection
Photo credit: Yahoo Sports
Atlanta Braves
Without a weakness—
Except for being human
And, thus, changeable.
Philadelphia Phillies
The leadoff hen lays
Or does not lay; she knows of
No other outcome.
Miami Marlins
One more year, no fish.
Can’t be my cheap bait—no way.
God just detests us.
New York Mets
Ah, spring of Butto!
Lucchesi! Bickford! Megill—
Just not Senga. Ow.
Washington Nationals
Land of limousines,
Riding on retreads: Senzel,
Gallo, and Winker.
If you want to jazz your game up a bit
Try out a new base-running mitt.
X has many styles
Sure to bring smiles
And give traditionalists a fit.
