Braves’ Leaky Pen

by Brad Cleveland

The bats have finally come to life
but things here still don’t seem right

Uggla can’t get going here
and Linebrink fills the fans with fear

every single pitch he throws
has a fan’s heart coming up his throat

for fear the game will soon be lost
and then a home run ball is tossed

when will Fredi make a move
let Venters close and Kimbrel groove

his fastballs in the 8th instead
so we can try to get ahead?

we can’t beat Philly 2 of 3
and then get smothered by D.C.
makes no sense if you ask me!

The Last of Lastings Milledge

by James Finn Garner

Consider the case of Lastings Milledge,
Career on the wane and prospects pillaged.
So many chances, not one of them clicked.
Now playing Triple A out in the sticks.
How cruelly ironic to have that first name,
Success was so fleeting throughout his game.
Drafted and signed with ado and aplomb,
but the years and the game rolled crushingly on.
To what sort of player can you really relate:
The superstars, scrubs — or should-have-been-greats?

NL East 2011 Haiku Predictions

By Stuart Shea

ATLANTA BRAVES
It’s a New Brave World,
New players, new chief, newspeak,
And an old Chipper.

FLORIDA MARLINS
A Southern poser:
If teams play in the forest
Will anyone care?

NEW YORK METS
Luis Castillo
Will drop pop-ups someplace else
This sunny summer.

PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
The best rotation?
Either what the Phillies have
Or the earth itself.

WASHINGTON NATIONALS
Despite higher Werth,
From Ankiel to Zimmerman
They’ll still be boring.

The Ballad of Nyjer Morgan

By Stuart Shea

Nyjer Morgan? What a jerk,
Putting catchers out of work.

Doesn’t get on base a lot,
Doesn’t use the speed he’s got.

Doesn’t understand the game,
Hasn’t got an ounce of shame,

Fighting with obnoxious fans,
Tossing baseballs in the stands.

The silver lining to this song?
He won’t be here for very long.

With Love and Ancient Cautions: From a Wood Fan to a Strasburg Fan

By Joe Moag

Unto He!

Unto He, the new rookie,
He with an arm fit to hoist Zeus’ bolt,
Fit to slay our past; fit to redeem our degradations.

Unto He, our welcomed savior!
A reprieve from years of ill, from years of doubt,
From years of lowness.

Unto He, the Lifter!
Unto He, the Changer!
Unto He, the Future!

Unto He, Alleviator of this state
Of prolonged exile, of overdue vengeance,
Of our just and righteous payback!

Unto He we place this proof
That our faith, traveled across orphanage and dismissal,
Our Faith, that thing
Which steeled our resolve
To simply stay in the game long enough,

Has borne fruit! It has brought
Him, here, to Us.

No light as bright as this has ever shone, only to
Fall away in wreckage through the dimming of life’s cold onslaughts and hurly-burl!
Immortals don’t flinch, or suffer, or miss their mark – they shine!
Our wait itself is the toil and testament to the surety of this!

This Game and its Gods, who sit high and low,
Sworn sacred to the mischief in their souls
Could never be jealous enough
To make this foreseen future, this deserved fate,
Fall short.

Posted 6/27/10