Arizona Diamondbacks

Twice Bitten, Once Shy

It was just what the Diamondbacks dreaded–
a split double-header, yet they got beheaded.

Kirby Yates
Would follow a website that rates
The performances of Kate Winslet
Based on her accent.

Ketel Marte
Would eat banana cream parfaits
At every meal, but doesn’t because
His contract has a weight-gain clause.

Steven Kwan
Will drone on and on
About investing in Bitcoin
Because he’s got the acumen of a pork loin.

Trea Turner
Is a slow learner
3 times invested with Steven Kwan!
Man, that money’s gone gone gone…

Shohei lays down bunt
despite ugly aesthetic
universe bewitched

Arizona Diamondbacks
The sun shines hottest
On the king of the hill, but
How strong are your arms?

Colorado Rockies
Nobody can hear
The landslide coming until
The season’s ruined.

Los Angeles Dodgers
All your spring wishes,
Your summer smiles, meaningless
Until October.

San Diego Padres
Unlucky last year?
The key crops did not produce.
This is not a test.

San Francisco Giants
Grandson of the Wind
Carries major talent and
Great expectations.

Should correct homework
why ruin day off from work?
watch Game 5 instead