Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
On a beautiful weekend in fall
As everyone broke out their sweaters
And watched colored leaves in thrall
Of the passage of time and the weather
A few teams still played baseball
Underdogs showed up and played better
The Braves, Bums and Mets hit the wall
While the Pods and Phils raced for the cheddar.
Get set for the stories that bawl
About TV ratings — “could be better!”
Ignore this predictable squall
And enjoy the seasonal splendor.
To the 700 home run goup
We can add Pujols with a whoop
After that crank
He joins Babe, Bonds and Hank
And our joy in the game we recoup.
C.J. Cron
Will talk on the phone
For hours and hours
With other BTS followers.
Alejandro Kirk
Doesn’t like to work
On anything other than
His abs and his tan.
Kyle Tucker
Loves the Drive-By Truckers
And any other bands that wanna
Straddle genres.
Tony Gonsolin
Keeps a pet pangolin
And regularly massages the armor
Of that weird little charmer.
The forsaken Bucs
Have had terrible luck
Disheartening both youngsters and codgers
But that luck turns around–
Can this elixir be found?–
Whenever they fight ‘gainst the Dodgers.
Their recent campaigns
Have shamed the Spanish Main
Their treasure chest has been sore empty
But bring in Turner and Betts
And this sulphurous squad gets
Like Pops and Parker and Clemente.