Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Now we’ve missed our chance to know
Of Tucupita Marcano
He wasn’t the next DiMaggio
But not everyone can be a hero
MLB said he’s got to go
For treating his phone like a casino
The bets he made — 400 or so —
Made his sportsbook dime him, bro!
Betting is here to stay, so
Get used to stories like Marcano’s
Owners love nothing but centavos
Ruined lives are the quid pro quo
Five-run first inning
Yamamoto yanked from game
inauspicious start
Arizona Diamondbacks
The sun shines hottest
On the king of the hill, but
How strong are your arms?
Colorado Rockies
Nobody can hear
The landslide coming until
The season’s ruined.
Los Angeles Dodgers
All your spring wishes,
Your summer smiles, meaningless
Until October.
San Diego Padres
Unlucky last year?
The key crops did not produce.
This is not a test.
San Francisco Giants
Grandson of the Wind
Carries major talent and
Great expectations.
Padres late game woes
shaky relief, broken glove
gift win to Dodgers
For those of you who missed first pitch at 06:00 EDT this morning.
Highest stakes,
Sleepy mistakes,
Fan heartaches.
