by Michael X. Ferraro
Maximum ducks upon the pond,
Clad in uniforms brown and blond,
Waddled home, four straight games,
Padres’ bats spewing flames.
Foes’ feathers’ ruffled? Tatis yawned.
King Kong Swingman
by Hilary Barta
That Kingman was strong there’s no doubt
His bat could deliver a clout
Each swing for the fences
Could dazzle the senses
More often than not, he struck out.
Illustration by Jim Siergey
Machedo, Machado
By Jim Siergey
Will many a tomato
(Or do you say to-mah-to)
Be tossed at non-hustling
Manny Machado?
Not that he will care
About causin’ such ranklin’
He can wipe off the stains
With Benjamin Franklins
Or is S.D. so chill
That they”ll accept slack
As long as home runs
He steadily jacks?
Pick Pumpkins, Rake Some Leaves, and Fire the Hitting Coach
by James Finn Garner
And now the news, if anyone cares:
The Pods have dumped their coach Matt Stairs.
After a year of whiffs, grounders and flares,
The Pods have given the door to Stairs.
The talent is weak? Suggest it, who dares?
The weak point clearly is one Matt Stairs.
The spacious park sits with empty chairs,
That must be the fault of old Matt Stairs.
You’ve only one choice when your team sucks bears:
Find a sacrificial lamb like Stairs.
When your whole organization needs repairs,
Start with the hitting coach, like Matt Stairs.
My Swing So Sweet
by @RhymingLiriano
My swing so sweet
I’m a baseballin’ Casanova
Check beneath ya seat
I’m giftin’ souvenirs like Oprah
My rhymes Grade-A
But I’m killin’ w/the Bees
Get ya camera – take a picture
I’m the best you’ll ever see
Originally appeared on Twitter.