Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Macchiato, red eye, cortado —
All the same to José Alvarado.
To retire a team
Requires caffeine.
A Starbucks? To him: El Dorado!
The Phils reliever starts his day with 6 espressos and drinks up to 10 coffee drinks every day, according to The Athletic.
Something didn’t sit right with Cody
That blue cheese dip last night was grotty
Puking Buffalo-style
Nukes him a while
So he won’t face Skubal in the coldy.
New Era brought a new line of caps
To fans with cash to burn (p’rhaps)
Not testing in beta,
Texas became Tetas
And caught the derision of bilingual chaps.
“Tetas Hat Pulled After Backlash.”
To see poems about EVERY hat in the collection, check out Davy Andrews’ work at FanGraphs!
“Make Canada the 51st state!”
Brays a thief-liar-rapist in hate.
Compassionate, fair,
Straight-up, self-aware–
Canucks are all things he ain’t.
With my bear buddy, Buddy Brown Bear, at a Vancouver Canadians game, June 2023.
The Tinseltown Team looking fab
The Bombers in line for the slab
Then a flick of the wrist
A storyline twist
And our hope for more games gets a jab.
