by Phil Lacovara
The melonhead, he was a Giant,
About steroids, he didn’t mind lyin’,
With the Cream and the Clear,
Into pitchers he struck fear,
‘Til into BALCO, the law started pryin’.
7/23/07
Three From Millie Bovich
They call him the masculine tower
He can hit a home run with such power,
From San Fran’s west coast
And so quick with the boast
“I can do it again in an hour”!
Every fan now has reason to ponder
Every long ball that’s hit way out yonder,
Is the batter legit
Or a crass hypocrite
And a good-name-of-baseball absconder?
From the city of quaint San Francisco
And a blast from his muscular wrist, oh.
Plus a shot in his thigh
You should see the ball fly,
To the town of San Luis Obispo
Barry Bonds #12
by Lou Carlozo
Despite Barry Bonds’ many homers,
It appears that his body’s a loaner,
For his steroid technique
Birthed an android’s physique:
An aluminum bat for a boner.
Barry Bonds #4
by Doug White
Took the best chemicals that man could make
Because a prized record he wanted to break,
But too many injections
Led to so much rejection,
And thus Barry’s been labeled a fake
Barry Bonds #8
by Tom Shea
O, his blood is clean as a geranium!
Here’s how Barry Bonds fills every stadium:
Weight work in the off-season
‘S the sole, simple reason
For his huge, massive, 90-pound cranium.