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MLB All-Rudolph-The-Red-Nosed-Reindeer Team

1B   Steve Christmas
2B   Cupid Childs
SS   Dancerby Swanson
3B   Minnie “the Cuban Comet” Miñoso

LF   Tim Raines-deer
CF   Rudolph Ash
RF   Foghorn Bradley

C    Ken Rudolph

DH  Donner Baylor

LHP   Lee Dashner, Al Clauss
RHP   Josh Fogg, Joe “Blitzen” Benz, Bill Slayback

MGR   Santa Alomar

Comet illustrated by John Hartwell.

When looking for an image to accompany this team, I found that Baseball Reference had created a lineup and player trading cards for all of Santa’s team. Check out this fun idea from 2014. 

And have a merry Christmas, Bardballers!

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MLB All-Thanksgiving Team

by Jim Siergey

1B   Lee Dressen
2B   Doc Crandall
SS   Turkey Gross
3B   Greg Legg

LF   Damian Rolls
CF   Spud Johnson
RF   Tyler Saladino

C     Yam Yaryan

P   Turk Wendell, Turk Lown, Doug Bird

Mgr.   Norm Sherry

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The Final Frames are Finished

by James Finn Garner

The season’s done, the nights grow cold,
The best and worst of us grow old,
The Dodgers exult, the White Sox are hiring,
So let’s salute those players retiring.

Kyle Hendricks, beloved Cub
Now joins Denny’s Breakfast Club.

Joey Votto will still spread joy
Like a precocious, Pepsi-fueled boy.

Andrew McCutchen, with graceful ease,
Can now sleep in whenever he please.

In ’16 Jason Heyward got his ring,
Now he can orate on any old thing.

And old Rich Hill now takes the pill
Solely for his aches and ills.

Thank you, men, for the sounds and sights
That helped us pass our summer nights.
When the Hot Stove League convenes with friends,
We can say we saw you when.

 

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SOUVENIR DEATH Experience

by Michael X. Ferraro

The fans in the stands said,
“This foul ball or your life!”
Mookie said, “I’m thinking”–
In the Bronx, best bring a knife.